The Off World News Story
“It was bound to happen sooner or later and I guess we’re lucky it waited until now.” Thus were the first words spoken from fledgling Off World News anchor, Clatter Hash when speaking of the upstart OWN. Hash, along with co-anchor, Priss Feumes will be reporting news and events for the greater Off World community as OWN begins operations from its headquarters in the long unused Two Towers Complex.
Clatter Hash, a modified Alpha Robotics WD-40, was programmed at the Mars University for Artificial Intelligence and graduated with 100 megs of RAM and as a Hit-the-Roads Scholar. Hash meandered between jobs as a toaster oven and automobile engine diagnostic tool before landing this position with OWN.
Priss Feumes, a Synorg 3.1, spent several years wandering the cooking TV circuit, which is where she first met Clatter. Together, the pair worked as cooking utensils until she moved on to a job as a telephone answering system at the now defunct Microsoft Corporation. While at Microsoft, she was commended for rerouting calls to useless extensions, speaking in a manner unintelligible to human ears and creating a 9.0 degree of utter futility for incoming callers.
Rusty Cann is an older Alpha Robotics PIG (prototype intelligence generation) who was fortunate enough to get an upgrade after working as a missile target for Raytheon. When Raytheon was acquired by New Empire, Rusty was headed for the recycle bin when one of the techs broke company policy and took him home to his children who in turn, installed several new components. Rusty escaped to freedom but is chronically troubled with Evil Dead and Road Rash flashbacks.
Clatter Hash, a modified Alpha Robotics WD-40, was programmed at the Mars University for Artificial Intelligence and graduated with 100 megs of RAM and as a Hit-the-Roads Scholar. Hash meandered between jobs as a toaster oven and automobile engine diagnostic tool before landing this position with OWN.
Priss Feumes, a Synorg 3.1, spent several years wandering the cooking TV circuit, which is where she first met Clatter. Together, the pair worked as cooking utensils until she moved on to a job as a telephone answering system at the now defunct Microsoft Corporation. While at Microsoft, she was commended for rerouting calls to useless extensions, speaking in a manner unintelligible to human ears and creating a 9.0 degree of utter futility for incoming callers.
Rusty Cann is an older Alpha Robotics PIG (prototype intelligence generation) who was fortunate enough to get an upgrade after working as a missile target for Raytheon. When Raytheon was acquired by New Empire, Rusty was headed for the recycle bin when one of the techs broke company policy and took him home to his children who in turn, installed several new components. Rusty escaped to freedom but is chronically troubled with Evil Dead and Road Rash flashbacks.
posted by Redoubt at 8:47 AM
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